Because Breaking up is Hard to Do: Top 10 Ways to Break Up
People make mistakes. It’s part of human nature. Sometimes, we purchase something and realize that it is useless. We say words we never expected to come out of our mouths. We do things that we will eventually regret in the future. When it comes to choosing our partners, we make lots of mistakes, too.
Falling in love is one of the best things in life. It gives us a shot at happiness. It gives us a chance to grow. It gives us the feeling that we are not alone and that we will never be. It gives us the assurance that we are needed and loved. It gives value to our existence. We know, of course, that not all good things last forever. Most of the time, it’s very difficult to admit that we chose the wrong person for us and that the relationship is going nowhere. Parting ways with someone you have been in love with or you thought you were so in love with can be harder than starting a relationship.
Certain circumstances, however, leave us with no choice. Sometimes, we find ourselves with the wrong person. Sometimes, we wake up only to realize that everything was a mistake. If this is the case, then you really have to cut your ties. Here are some ways of saying goodbye to the one person you thought you could spend the rest of your life with.
10. “Every man changes. I’m a man.”
One study revealed that most men are afraid to break up with their partners. Thus, since they can’t say it directly, they destroy the good and lovable image they have to turn their partners off. If you are one of these men, you may want to change voluntarily to drive your love away. Stop saying words that take her breath away. Stop showering. Stop making love to her. Stop being the man she loved, loves and would continue to love. It doesn’t mean you have to turn bad. Well, on one hand, you really have to be bad but only for a time. Once the relationship is over, compose yourself again and find another woman. Yes, it’s not fair but is there anything fair in this world? That’s life. She has to live with it.
9. “If you can’t beat me at World of Warcraft, we can’t be together anymore.”
If you’re the playful and cunning type, then make her agree to a dare and have your relationship as a bet. That sounds silly, but hey, you’re desperate. You really have to get rid of him or her or you’d rather play online games all your life. Any game will do. Whether it’s basketball or hangman, make sure it is something that you’re really good at. After you win, say this: “You know I love you babe but rules are rules.”
8. “Friends forever.”
If you really can’t say it directly, order a cake and have “Friends Forever” scribbled over it. This will surely give her a hint of what it is that you really want. Make sure that it is chocolate cake because she will need it to feel calm and besides chocolate reduces the pain - of almost everything. Here’s to hoping it reduces the pain you cause her. You also have to prepare yourself because you might just find that cake landing on your face soon after. Aside from cake, there are also other options such as matching bracelets or twin shirts.
7. “My goodness, you look ugly.”
If you really want to win this battle, you have to hit the right spot – your partner’s ego. Tell him or her nasty things. Show your partner that you don’t deserve him or her because you’re just waaay too good for this relationship. If you can’t say how much you loathe this relationship, then make him or her feel it. Emphasize the things you dislike and hate about your partner. Reiterate them. Describe how you see your future and make sure you don’t include him or her in it. This will piss your partner off and he or she will eventually end the relationship him - or herself.
6. “Hello, sweetie! Bye.”
If you really need to break up, then there’s a very simple solution for you – disappear. Go to North Korea and mingle. Better yet, go to Iraq and help in humanitarian projects. It doesn’t matter where. Just disappear. Make sure he or she doesn’t find you. Give it time and you will surely forget about each other.
5. “Please leave your message after the beep.”
If you can’t afford to vanish and move to some far away land, then just ignore him or her and pretend he or she doesn’t exist. Don’t answer your partner’s calls. If he or she comes over, hide. Act like you’re too busy and you need to focus on your studies and career. Time or the lack of it, is usually the reason relationships don’t work.
4. “I’m in love with God.”
If you really don’t want to hurt your image but you want to get out of the relationship, ask for God’s help. No, it doesn’t mean that you have to pray and wait for a miracle. Use religion as an excuse. It sounds blasphemous but it’s a good trick. Tell him or her that you can’t make love because it’s a sin and you don’t want to go to hell. Tell your partner that you need to fix and strengthen your faith. Better yet, say that you want to become a priest or a nun. It will work.
3. “When I told you I loved Brad Pitt, I meant, I LOVED him.”
Another sure-fire way to get out of a relationship is to pretend you have turned gay. This is a no-brainer. Not much explanation is needed. It will surely drive her away. Show her your collection of Spice Girls albums and start squeezing in the words "fab," "uber" and "divine" in your sentences. Listen to Madonna and Cher and sing their songs when you’re on a date. If you’re a woman, tell him he has turned you into a lesbian. If you’re already gay, tell your partner you made a mistake and you’re straight now. That’s really a divine and uber-fabulous way to do it.
2. “I tried to tell you but…”
Another thing that most men do because they are so cowardly to admit that they are not happy with the relationship anymore is fooling around. Start dating someone else and let him or her catch you the hard, painful way. Yes, this will really work. He or she will break it off in an instant, right at that moment. You have to be prepared, though. Things might get nasty and even scandalous.
1. “Honey, let’s talk.”
You can come up with a number of tricks and gimmicks but still, the best way to end a relationship is to sit down and talk about it.
Muster up all the courage you can and then blurt it out in a manner that you won’t regret in the future. It’s true that every breakup is painful and there’s no way to do it without someone being hurt. If you can reduce the pain, however, do it. Even if you want out of the relationship now, you still have to treat your partner like you really loved him or her. Consider how he or she feels. Your partner loved you and for that, he or she deserves some respect and comfort. Break up in the least painful way possible by taking some time, talking about it and explaining why it has come to this point. Be honest. This will allow for a healthy relationship in the future, not as lovers but as friends.
Every minute, countless couples end their relationship all over the world. Only a small fraction of those, however, ends in a nice way. “Breaking up is hard to do,” says one song by Neil Sekada. Indeed, if there’s one thing that is incredibly difficult and painful to do in a relationship, it has to be breaking up. There is no easy way to say goodbye.
* It’s very difficult to break up, but moving on is even harder. Getting over a breakup is very important for you to be able to lead a full and meaningful life even after you fell out of love with your significant other.