Top Ten Reasons Socks Disappear from the Dryer
The next morning, you put a new load of laundry inside your dryer. You think twice before putting another pair of socks inside the coughing and rattling machine. Half an hour later, you discover your clothes are still damp and another sock is missing! You ask yourself, why is your dryer making all those noises, why are your clothes still wet ,and more importantly, who would be foolish enough to take mismatched socks?
Now is the time for thorough investigation. A lost sock is never a lost cause until the time you decide to surrender. The following shows the top ten reasons behind mysteriously vanishing socks. Let this list be your guide when it comes to finding your sock-stealing culprit.
1. Blame the Aliens
Unable to understand the purpose of socks, aliens are now taking different “samples” from various households. Experiments include the use of shock therapy, water submersion tactics and dissection. These extraterrestrial creatures will stop at nothing to find the true “essence” behind socks.
(Track them down by following the 11 Ways To Spot A UFO.)
2. Christmas Stocking-Shortage: Santa’s Helpers Gone Bad
Just because they’re Christmas elves doesn’t mean they’re good all the time.
Due to the hectic schedule and work demands given by Santa during the Christmas holidays, his little helpers have no time to knit Christmas stockings of their own. How are they supposed to receive gifts now? Without proper monetary compensation, Santa’s elves are forced to steal socks instead. Neon socks are particularly popular with elves due to their attention-grabbing quality.
3. A Lovely New Dress for Thumbelina
If by summer you’re still experiencing the mysterious disappearance of your socks, let this be your “go signal” to start spraying every corner of your house with insecticide. Set up traps and lure these tiny people in with false promises of properly tailored clothing.
4. Taken by the Sock-Puppet Master
Manufacturers insert hidden tubes inside your dryer. This contraption separates socks from other articles of clothing. Socks are then teleported to the sock puppet-master’s lair where he creates strange puppets from his collection of used socks.
5. The Evolution of Socks
The heat from your dryer urges the sensitive fiber of your sock’s fabric to begin expanding and the constant tumbling around in the dryer results in the sock’s stretching and change of shape. Constantly being exposed to this type of treatment can help transform your sock into hats, scarves, dresses or half-completed shawls.
6. The Revenge of the Garden Gnome
Socks are a particular favorite because gnomes also use their soft fabric to create their fuzzy cone-shaped hats. Aside from socks, garden gnome trickeries have been known to include disappearing keys, rings and wigs.
7. Redefining Foot Fetish
While some people may have the foot fetish, there are some individuals who are perfectly content with hoarding tons of used socks.
Some used and mismatched socks are sold in vending machines, much like the infamous “used panty vending machines” in Japan. It’s a very lucrative business venture and is slowly gaining popularity in different countries around the world.
(If you or you know someone suffering from this time to learn How To Get Rid Of Fetish.)
8. Kidnapped by Rebellious Sock Puppets
9. Socks! The New Prevention for Cancer
10. Sock-Eating Dryer: The Reason for Rattling
Once the dryer starts rattling, you know it’s time to call a repairman.
Next time your dryer starts malfunctioning and garments begin to disappear as if sucked in by a vortex, check inside your dryer. It’s possible the fabric just snagged or got stuck inside the appliance.
To prevent the loss of your socks, make sure you install security cameras near your dryer. A watchdog would also be a great help when it comes to keeping vigilant.
(If you follow the steps on How To Get Rid Of Clutter not even a single sock will ever lose.)