I need to use the toilet

The call of nature knows no absolute rules. You may use the bathroom regularly in the morning, but you may still pay the john an extra visit after having a banana split during lunch and a Mocha Frappuccino in the afternoon. The real problem here is finding a place to deposit that extra load wanting to say “hello outside world.”

You’ve probably had an experience in the past when you really needed to “go”, but somebody else was in the bathroom, or you were stuck in a place with no restroom (like your car). What we usually do is find a suitable alternative to a bathroom. Here is a list of places where desperate people go when nature calls, but no ready bathroom answers.

(These first five substitutes are exclusive for the number “1,” liquid excretions if you may. Now that we’ve made it clear, let’s proceed to the list.)

10. Bottles and Cans: What Goes In Must Come Out

The use of empty can

Have you ever experienced drinking so much soda that you feel full despite burping several times? Perhaps the only way to lessen that fullness is by letting some of your bodily liquids flow. If there is no restroom in the area, you will be glad that you didn’t throw your soda cans away. You refill your cans because life is too short to suffer from a problem you can easily remedy. (see 16 Unusual ways to use soda and beer cans)

9. Public Water Fountains: Press for Success

Not only for the thirsts

You are in an unfamiliar territory, and looking for a restroom brings you no luck. While searching, you come across a public fountain, and an idea dawns on you. Upon realizing that the coast is clear, you carry out your plan. After trying as hard as you can, you still can’t let it out. What you do is you press the button to release the water and to relieve you of your guilt. Finally, it starts to flow freely like the water of the fountain.

8. Rain Gutter: Lubrication on a Summer Day

Rain Gutter and Downspout

One of the things you enjoy doing is star-gazing on the roof. Lucky for you, your room window gives you roof access. One summer night, the problem of body waste disposal occurs to you. It is one of those rare moments when you do not care if your neighbor sees you doing something nasty on top of the roof. As you decompress your muscles, you hear some noise from the rain gutter. Then you realize that the sound comes from the dried leaves in your gutter, stuck since fall of last year.

7. Doormats and Carpets: Practice What You Preach

This can easily absorb it

Here we go again. You need to go to the bathroom, but your sister is having the time of her life inside the bathroom. Since you’re living in a high-rise building, you can’t simply walk out on the street. Then your dog walks in and gives you the strangest but most feasible idea. All the things you taught your pet since he or she was young flashes back to you, especially “toilet etiquette”. The poor doormat and carpet become your litterbox.

6. Swimming Pools: Chlorinated and Urinated

Its fun to swim

You probably think that the others taking a dip in the pool with you are guilty of the same thing. You might as well do it right here right now, you think. Getting out of the pool is a hassle and the wind is sure to give you chills, so you relieve yourself right there. At least you have the decency to stay a little farther from your friends. Finally, you join your peers as if nothing happened.

As we conclude the first half of our list, we open another that includes the places suitable for both numbers “1” and “2”.

5. Beach: The Accommodating Shore

On the rocks please

How gross do you think we are to suggest doing it in the water? At least we are not suggesting the pool where it’d be too visible. The sandy shores of a beach offer a good option for people who have “no other place to go.” Just look for a rather isolated place and a real large rock to cover you. Start digging a small hole and fill it with sand after the deed.

(But if you just want to frolick in the sun and enjoy the bikini babes visit the Top Ten Beaches To Wear A Bikini.)

4. Bed Pan: Going on a Sick Leave

Piss Pot

Bed pans are often used by people in hospitals who are too sick to get up and go to the bathroom. During desperate times, they can be used by anyone in need. You just need to find a private room to do your business, and dispose of the waste properly as soon as a restroom becomes available.

3. Buckets: The All-Purpose Pail

The ever handy water pail

Option 4 assumes that you always have a bed pan at home. In case you don’t have one, any large-mouthed container would do. Look for a pail in your home, like the one that you use for car washing. After you dispose off your waste, make sure that you clean the container thoroughly. If you want, you may dispose of the container just like you would baby diapers.

2. Garden: Completely Organic Fertilizers

Love your garden more

If you are seriously considering this option, the first thing you need to do is to check if your fence is high enough. This suggestion is similar to option #7 since you also need to perform the same practices you teach your dogs. Start digging a hole in your garden. If you have vegetables, you’re understandably not likely to eat them anymore after this. If you can’t stand the thought of what you did, just think of how you were relieved of stomach pains and how your plants seemed to grow healthier after that day.

1. Your Pants: When the Inevitable Strikes

I have nowhere to go

We cannot exactly label our number one as one of your options. You surely don’t want the whole world to know about how, one day, you suddenly decided to go back to your toddler ways. This unfortunate occurrence is often a product of your underestimation of the rumbling in your stomach. You think that you can still hold it until you get home. Then you reach that point when your stomach involuntary gives in to your body’s demands.

These places to “go” may sound unlikely for people who have never been in dire need of a restroom. Numbers 10 to 2 may sound totally vulgar, but it is recommended that you strongly consider them as options before number 1 becomes your fate. If you enjoy reading this article, you’ll surely be interested in learning how to hold your pee.

(In some instances you really can’t find any relief in any of these except the fist. And when that unfortunate event befalls you, it would be best for you to know How To Get Rid of Pee Stains.)