Think of just one good reason why you shouldn’t hit on your boss, and I’ll save you the trouble of having to wade through all the benefits listed below. So why? you say. Because it’s exciting, that’s why! It’s a change of scenery to an otherwise dull and tedious working life. Still not convinced? Read below.

 

10. Think of a reason, any reason, why you shouldn’t

 

I bet you’ll have a hard time figuring out this one. Your boss makes more than you do. He or she sets the rules, keeps everyone in the office always at the edge of their seats, shouts when he or she feels like it and comes in late and leaves early. But, if you could get that fine wire-framed glasses-wearing lad or lass to take special interest in you, that’s something else. Maybe you can’t think of a reason why you shouldn’t, but you can definitely come up with dozens on why you should.

 

9. The edge

 

A relationship with your boss entails a lot of benefits in and out of the office. That nerd guy, the one with thick glasses that sits beside you in the cubicle, does his breath stink? Is it a bad hair day five days of the week for your female coworker and it you can’t stand to look at her anymore? Go tell your boss and let him or her do the firing. When you own the boss and can convince him or her when someone is not treating you right, you ARE your own boss. You’re at the top of the food chain. You are the shark that eats everything. You have the edge. You are the edge. Make use of it while it lasts.

 

8. Why settle for less?

 

Would you capture a pawn when you can go for the queen? Take 10 seconds to think about all the perks and privileges and you’ll see what I mean. To always go for the bigger fish is just that: practical.

 

7. No more late memos

 

Morning traffic can be a real pain. The fact that you

always arrive late in the office with a memo from your supervisor taped onto your computer screen doesn’t help much either. You reach for the memo and crumple it in your hand and throw it under your desk into a small garbage can full of memos. You can say goodbye to this morning ritual if you can get your boss on your side. If this isn’t reason enough for you to hit on your boss, I don’t know what is.

 

6. Vacation leaves galore

 

Sick and tired of work? Take a leave and enjoy some time off work. Go to Hawaii or Timbuktu. There’s always something new to see, hear, smell or feel in the world. Take your mind off of things and sit back and relax. Have you tried skiing in Canada? Skinny dipping in California? Faith conversion in the Philippines? When your “boss” has your back covered, you can stay out of the office as long as you’d like.

 

5. Let’s go out for dinner

 

Friday night your buddies are out drinking beer and exchanging dirty jokes, but there’s no rest for the wicked!

You can always settle for a nice dinner date with your boss. Somewhere private would be nice; you wouldn’t want your coworkers seeing you together, would you? Dinner at your house or apartment always sounds romantic. Fine dining restaurants are equally tempting and they save you the effort of having to cook. If you don’t feel like picking up the tab, you can always skip to number two for some spiritual guidance on how to avoid spending money on a date.

 

4. Skip the dirty work and on with the promotion

 

It boils down to performance. If you do well, if you do really well, you can get yourself promoted when you least expect itWith a promotion comes a salary increase. There are also more responsibilities, yes. But don’t forget who’s running the show here: your “boss”. Now, if you still believe you shouldn’t be paying for the cab, then refer to number two on the list for guidance.

 

3. No contest for the Most Valuable Employee award

 

December is nearing and everyone’s excited about it. Who’s nominated? someone asks. I wonder what the prizes are. Then they see your name on the list. That guy? someone asks again. But he’s always late. And he never gets a memo! But they only give a slight nod. They don’t know a lot of things about your work, even though you share the same office. Actually, they don’t know anything. You’ll get nominated without being nominated, sure. You might even win. The best part is that you can do all of that without trying.

 

2. Show me the money

 

Hopefully your boss makes more than you do - then you have an excuse NOT to pay for everything. Dates. Movies. Out-of-town vacations, dual gym membership. Let him or her shoulder the expenses of the relationship. Make up an excuse like “My mom’s sick and I have to pay the hospital”, or “I’m saving this for our future”. The degree of lameness in your excuses is directly proportional to how crazy your boss is about you. If your relationship, as it stands, is so-so, you’re going to have to think up a credible, believable lie.

 

1. Because it’s your boss

 

Seriously, would you hit on someone who pulls a rickshaw for a living? The Earth is 4.54 billion years old; civilization has evolved. We live in organized communities, work hard to make ends meet and try our best to live practical lives. So if by chance the opportunity to shoplift the booty presents itself, then go for it. Unleash the dragon. Don’t hold back. That’s practical.

 

Hitting on your boss gives new meaning to the phrase: “Sex with benefits."