While most people are looking for great hairstyles they can copy, you’re reading an article all about the worst hairstyles known to man. It’s either you’re a unique individual looking for ways on how you can artistically and obnoxiously offend hairstylists or you’re in for some good laughs and are looking for ways to sabotage your greatest rival’s reputation.

Whatever reason you may have, welcome to the top ten list on how you or a friend of yours can finally achieve the worst hairstyle ever.

You’ve probably heard the phrase that your hair is your crowning glory. Instead of looking just like everyone else and sporting the year’s most popular hairdo, why not opt for an arrogant and unapologetically atrocious hairstyle? Let it be your grand message to the populace and to society—you are no one’s dummy and would rather look horrendous rather than ordinary.

Do you want to learn how you can land yourself the award for “Worst Hairstyle” at the prom or your office party? We can help you. Read on to find the perfect worst hairstyles in the bunch and find out how you can copy it.

# 1 The Meltdown also known as The Crystal Ball

Notice how a padded crystal ball is strangely reminiscent of Britney Spears’ infamous meltdown picture: her nearly bald head softly padded by dark hair around her ears and at the base of her head. Nothing screams “anarchy” and “mentally unstable” better than the combination of a bald top with long tendrils to frame it.

Show off your gorgeous and overly-pale head with this inspired and totally unflattering look. With this hairstyle, nobody could ever accuse you of being “ordinary.”

To achieve the look: Shave off your hair, but leave behind long tresses near your ears and at the base of your head. You can even make it ultra-dramatic by keeping your sideburns long.

# 2 Eclectic and Electric: Shock Therapy

Nothing says Rock n’ Roll better than riotous curls and teased hair—at least in the 1980s. So what if you’re more than 20 years late? Better late than never, right? Keeping your tresses long, scraggly, dirty and unkempt is the best way to show off your “party animal” spirit.

While there are some people who revel in this rebellious and truly rockin’ hairstyle, Howard Stern and Slash included, you can be sure you’d be annoying some conservatives, particularly your mom. Raise eyebrows and give some random person a heart attack by jumping out of the bushes in full Glam Rock regalia. A tight-fitting animal print spandex jumpsuit should do the trick.

To achieve the look: Stick your finger into a working electric socket. Also, putting your head into the dryer while it spins can work wonders in creating tangles and curls.

# 3 Lice! All Lice!

According to some sources, when Bob Marley died, he left behind more than just his music. He left several different and previously-undiscovered species of lice on his head. Talk about giving more to the medical world.

Now, whether you truly want to be part of the Reggae community, or you simply wish to beat Marley’s record by growing “cultured” lice in your tresses, having this hairstyle is the best solution to all your claustrophobic concerns. Nobody will want to sit beside you or stay near you once they catch sight of the “super-friendly pets” crawling on your shoulders.

To achieve this look: Forgo shampooing, combing and washing your hair for the next ten years. You can also get dreads and use egg yolk and rotten vegetables to attract other insects like cockroaches and maybe even worms.

#4 Devil May Care: The Horned Look

Make your punk dreams a reality. Nothing roars anarchy better than a hairstyle that screams “Antichrist.” Remember that ultra-strange and yet enticingly evil hairstyle sported by Prodigy’s frontman? The one where he resembled a colorful hybrid between a clown and the devil? Yes, that hairstyle where he had devil horns in neon green.

Well that is the hairstyle you should have if you plan on scaring some women to go out with you. Simply plant yourself firmly near the ladies room and obnoxiously demand that she go out with you. If it doesn’t work or she starts signaling to the bouncer, make a hasty exit and don’t forget to take your little devil’s fork with you.

To achieve this look: Shave off your hair in the middle. Make sure you have enough hair to pull up in pigtails. Then, using super-hold gel or super glue, create spikes on each side of the head. Make sure the spikes are even.

#5 Fringe Fest: Bangs Only

Nothing says “beat me up, I have lunch money” better than being bald with just a sideswept fringe. It’s a lot like taking the emo hairstyle to a whole new level. Consider it a cross between metrosexual fussiness with your bangs and a bowler’s dream with your shiny head.

To achieve this look: Shave clean but leave long bangs for additional style. You can go for sideswept bangs or blunt cut bangs.

# 6 The Semi-Bald Solution: The Dad Cut

Balding? Why bother hiding it? Who cares if there are sporadic tufts of hair over your ears and on the back of your head? Consider the “dad cut” the tamer version of your “crystal ball” look. When you have this hairstyle, with the sparse strands gently making their way across your balded top, you’re sure to be the poster boy for embracing mid-life crisis.

So what if your other friends have thicker locks? So what if all the babes go for Fabio? With a balding head comes the credibility of your trusty neighborhood car dealer.

To achieve this look: Let your natural baldness shine through, literally.

# 7 The Undershaved

While everyone is shaving the top of their heads, why not stray from the pack with this hairstyle? You heard right. While other people are being totally unoriginal with their hairstyles, you can be one of the daring few who places a demure “twist” to the usual haircut.

Leave the rest of your hair long, but shave the underside of the back of your head, from nape until the ears. Let the rest of your hair lovingly caress your shoulders and act as the curtains to your bare nape. This hairstyle is anything but commonplace. It’s daring and demure, bold and yet modest.

 

To achieve this look: Shave from nape to ears, creating a clean semicircle. Keep your hair long so that people will only catch glimpses of your bare nape.

# 8 The Ticklish Mohawk

Mr. T will always be remembered as the coolest African American with a rad mohawk. What woman could ever resist your charms when you have what appears to be a bristle brush set against your otherwise completely bald and amusingly shiny head?

Watch as people are drawn to your shiny dome to check out their reflections! You will certainly be the center of attention with this special ‘do. A small warning: keep away from gypsies and fortune tellers lest they mistake your head for a missing crystal ball.

To achieve this look: Shave your head but leave a straight stripe of hair on the middle. Wash with Mane n’ Tail for that special thick and bristly feel.

# 9 Riot! Your Clowning Glory

Do you resemble a homeless person? Are you a big fan of Boy George, Tina Turner or Cyndi Lauper? Then this hairstyle might just be the perfect one for you.

Forget about those sleek looks marketed by your hairstylist; they’re only trying to get you to pay for their expensive treatments. In fact, forgo washing and shampooing your hair altogether. Who needs clean hair when you can have massive amounts of hairspray on your clowning, or rather, crowning glory?

From this moment on, you will be the center of attention—mostly because people can’t really come near your within a five-foot radius because of your hair’s volume. Just remember to stay away from open flames, unless you’d like to surprise everyone with a fireworks display.

To achieve this look: Do not comb hair or wash hair for at least eight months. Tease hair with super fine-toothed comb and use approximately 13 bottles of hairspray for maximum volume.

# 10 The Undecided: Short and Long

Not sure on what you should do with your hair? Want to get a haircut for half-price? Instead of having all your glorious locks shorned off, why not take Michael Bolton’s old hairdo to another level? Have your stylist work with your locks to end up with short and standing hair on top, and frizzy waves down to your shoulders.

Once your stylist demands his or her regular free, argue that they did not finish their job and would therefore have to let you pay only half of the original haircut’s price. It’s a great way to save money, and you get to look like a deranged and obsessive fan of the 80’s hair trend. Definitely a classy cut through and through.

To achieve this look: Cut away at the top part of your hair to leave the short strands standing while retaining long frizzy waves cascading over your shoulders.

Show off your unique and somewhat batty side with these mind-boggling and eye-strain-inducing hairstyles.