Activities to Destroy Your Life

 

What if someday, as you meet your Maker, you will be given the chance to look back on your life on Earth to remind you of what you’ve done to earn a ticket to Heaven’s court? Exciting, isn’t it? Now, here’s your checklist: The Top 10 Ways to Self-Destruct Without Even Trying.

 

10. Cyberstalking! Gotcha!

 

Are you trying to kill yourself?

 

Stop looking at your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s online community account. Stop looking at her pictures. By all means, don’t type any keyword into search engines that may bring you close to her blog. Cyberstalking kills!

 

Your relationship with your guy is nothing to question, so what’s your problem? Insecurity is dangerous to your health. It stresses your brain and your heart out. It consumes your thoughts and emotions. It simply makes you feel unhappy. That said, you are as good as dead.

 

Spend time on the Internet doing more sensible things like watching funny videos or reading articles about how to be a better girlfriend. Cyberstalking will not do you any good. But if you are insistent on self-destructing, then go and feel free to enjoy your moments of insanity.

 

9. Abuse Your Brain

 

You always see that old man answering crossword puzzles in the park. You know that he is doing it to avoid Alzheimer’s disease. If you reach his age, do the same and self-destruct exactly the way he has chosen to do it.

 

While puzzles and mind games are known to ward off the effects of degenerative brain diseases like Alzheimer’s, you can’t change the fact that the disease attacks almost all people who are blessed to live longer than most.

 

Too much puzzle-solving can strip the fun out of your life. Instead of playing crossword puzzles the whole day, why not explore other activities?

 

What are you waiting for? Put away that sudoku, leave your room and exercise your brain some other way. Good luck!

 

8. Driving is a Killer

 

If you want to increase your chance of reaching a ripe old age, you will most likely fly to places to enjoy the scenery. Flyine is considered the safest way of traveling. Driving, on the other hand, kills more people, with ages ranging from 1 to 35. If everyone stayed at home, this statistic could definitely fall to near zero.

 

But would that be fun for you? If you don’t hit the road, where will you go? Stay in your room, watch TV from night until dawn and pig out on chocolates and French fries? Hit the road to excitement, just make sure to pay attention to the speed limit, don’t drink and drive (or text while driving) and make sure to buckle up – all for the love of driving!

 

7. You and Your Books Against the World

 

If you are asked to describe yourself and you say that you are the type of person who loves reading and going to school, you are not self-destructing. But if you say you can’t sleep at night because you got one item wrong in the exam, welcome to the Department of Maladjustment!

 

Reading is a good thing – no questions asked. But if you don’t care about your social life and you prefer talking to your books than to your friends, you are self-destructing. One of the keys to an ideal lifestyle is experiencing a balance between social life and geekdom.

 

6. Nail Some More

 

You’ve heard it before: sex is a good sport. It isn’t as bad your grandmother told you. Sex can be bad depending on how you do it.

 

If you want to travel along the easy path to self-destruction, ignore the sexual history of your partner. Never use protection. Forget the annual medical exam.

 

The surest way to self-destruction is to contract a sexually transmitted disease. Who knows, you may also be one of the millions of Americans who became infertile because of diseases caught from too much sex. You want to be more certain of your self-destruction?

 

5. Praise Junk

 

The sweetest way to die is through eating!

 

The first step is to eat junk. In the United States, at least 400,000 Americans die each year simply because of what they eat. If you want to self-destruct by getting heart disease, eat more cream-filled donuts than you already do.

 

Donuts are laden with fat and are heavy in sugar. If you keep eating more than what an individual averagely consumes, you are welcoming heart disease to come to you in no time.

 

4. Drink ‘Til You Die

 

Studies suggest that occasional drinking of wine benefits your health. Drinking is fun and it definitely uplifts your lowly spirits. But if you make it a point to drink everyday, you are damaging your liver. Aside from that, you may develop alcoholism, which is self-destructing in itself. Drinking a lot also causes diabetes. It is the cause of 100,00 deaths in a year.

 

Drinking a lot is an easy way to enjoy, and an easier way to self destruct.

 

3. The Boob Tube is a Killer Tube

 

Can you imagine that in the life of an individual, especially those who live in the United States, there are nine full years consumed by just watching television. Getting glued to the boob tube is fun. You get entertained and learn a lot of things from watching TV. What does the TV have to offer than can kill you?

 

Yes, the nerdy science channels help you become smarter. But don’t you think it would be wiser to spend that time exercising? Imagine those 9 full years spent on watching TV, being a sedentary couch potato and eating monosodium glutamate-rich junk (hello obesity!). Such is an idealself-destructing measure for you.

 

2. No Sleep Means No Life

 

Inadequate sleep is sleeping for less than seven or eight hours each night. If you compromise sleep, you are welcoming cancer, diabetes and other health problems. Your mental health will also be affected because of fatigue. Mental fatigue, which you get from not sleeping adequately, is as risky as driving while drunk.

 

Sleeping is such a pleasurable thing to do. Whoever said that it is a waste of time is completely ignorant about the benefits of sleep. Don’t you wonder how other people can afford to self-destruct by sacrificing sleep?

 

1. Life in Smoke

 

The fact that people call cigarettes “cancer sticks” says a lot. In the United States alone, tobacco-related illnesses are among the leading causes of death.

 

Are you eager to self-destruct? Light one stick, puff it, and increase your blood pressure immediately. With just one cigarette, you are decreasing blood circulation to your extremities. That is what you can do with one stick. Imagine what you are doing to your body with one pack. How’s that for a smoky pleasure?

 

Smoking is the easiest road to take to reach Self-Destruction Avenue.

 

Now, you decide.